Alright vet and ruminant nerds. I was on the phone with a client who paged me about a goat that was down and lateral and I gave my usual ‘get her sternal’ spiel until I can get to the farm. I get off the phone and my wife, who has heard this spiel a million times, drops this jam on me from the kitchen. Loud, proud, fingers-snapping, and twangier than Joe Diffie’s original:
“Prop me up beside a hay bale so I don’t die. Lord I wanna go to heaven, but I don’t wanna go tonight. Fill my lungs up with air, let this rumen decompress. Prop me up beside a hay bale so I don’t die.”
You win, love. You win.
Published by Justin Jornigan
1987 model, gently used, a little rusty. Husband to Megan. I have the best dog in the world – a mutt named Tucker (Tuck, or Tucker J). We have a farm with 3 horses, 2 barn cats, and 2 house cats. I was born in the most beautiful place on earth – the mountains of Western North Carolina – and have returned here. First generation college graduate. I’m an introvert with a very extroverted job. Large animal veterinarian. I enjoy playing piano, quite walks along the creek, craft beer, life-giving conversation, scuba diving, riding horses, and mowing. I like to write, but don’t get to do it enough. I enjoy non-fiction, biographies, and progessive Christian thought. I hate the texture of most soft things – think dryer lint and cotton balls and ridiculous fleecy blankets. I love the smell of silage, horses, a leather shop, and the hardware store. I live for moments of unexpectedly laughing to tears and crampy cheeks, and to feel and smell the cold air right before it snows.
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